Child Abuse

Child abuse is the physical and/or psychological/emotional mistreatment of children.

# Child sexual abuse is any sexual act between an adult and a child, including penetration, oral sex and forced nudity in front of the adult

# Psychological abuse, also known as emotional abuse, which can involve belittling or shaming a child, inappropriate or extreme punishment and the withholding of affection.

Media is discussing much about child-abuse, that too in a Tamil channel like kalaignar TV. Finally, are people really aware of some deadliest crime in the world....Be it a newspaper or a TV headlines, the irritating n unacceptable news is that when, 10 or 12 year old being molested and the way it is being focused. When did people really care about child abuse, may be in the past 2 or 3 years, that too after the noida crime, and some frequent molesting cases.

I just thought about my past and recollected everything that happened in and around me when I was a kid. I could remember the life of different people around me. In the early 90's we were living in a Government Quarters in AVADI. There were 4 blocks, around 30 families, more than 10 kids below 10 years including me.....

In 1992, may be American media would’ve been speaking about child abuse. But in our country things were different, may be most of them even don’t know what is child abuse? In my locale, every parent had more or less the same idea in their about their kids, "STUDY, STUDY, STUDY.... GET MORE MARKS"... when their kids fail to do this, the 3rd degree treatment starts..

Case -1-

1993, a twin brother and sister in my quarters, 1 year younger than me, aged 6. We enjoyed the half yearly leave, full time playing, but the tragic part comes when school re-opens and half yearly will be distributed the very first day after school re-opens. Twins scored low even this time, he already warned them that punished is going to be severe, it they score low in half yearly, they were crying all over their way back to home, afraid of their father.. Punishment didn’t happen that day, but it happened on a Sunday; their dad brought a thick sack (used to carry rice) And spread it in the ground, then he threw rock salt over the surface of sack, the twins had to kneel down in the sack with bare knees, with that hard salt acting like needles in disguise, twins first refused, but after getting several beatings, they thought that it’s better to kneel down than getting beats. If at all this punishment was given to them inside their house, nobody bothers about it, but he intentionally made them kneel down near the play ground, so that everyone should watch them. This shame is really unbearable, they didn’t come to play till that annual leave. In the next year, they fulfilled their father's dream by getting more marks. Reverse Phenomenon....

Case -2-

Sudha - my first girl friend. I could still remember her eyes. She was white, nowhere a match for me, but still we used to play together. Abuse she received from her mom, was a very typical physical abuse which most of the girls were put into, that time. It is the worst that a parent can give to their daughter, once again in the name of 'LESS MARKS'. This is punishment was later even criticized by doctors. Something which led many kids to hate their parents - STRIPPING OF CLOTHES... It’s too much for a girl. How does it feel, an 8 year old girl being beaten and stripped for getting low marks. There was a unique ideology among parents in that quarters, any scolding or beating or any sort of punishment will be only in front of everyone, especially their friends..

Whenever she is stripped, other guys will be watching her crying, it’s hard for me to watch her cry in front of me, whenever this happens I will try to run off from that place, I thought to myself what's there in watching a girl crying....but they didn’t really watch her weeping, but.....

Case -3-

There was a shelter home inside the quarters, but nobody stays there, it looks like big godown. Teen-age guys use to spend most of their time there. We were afraid of the ghost stories and people say there is a dead women living in that godown and she will kill everyone and drink their blood. But our long time doubt was that how are those teen-age guys spending most of their time over there and that ghost-woman never kills them. So one day we decided to break the path, I brought the New Testament bible with me, it’s a precaution to prevent ourselves from the ghost, when the ghost looks at bible it loses its power.

6 of us started on our mission and with full confidence we peeked in thru the window, 5 guys were sitting in circle and they were reading a magazine, we thought to ourselves, 'Oh group studies', but suddenly a hand caught my friend's shoulders, we thought it was the dead woman, I showed the bible, 3 guys ran away in fear, it wasn't the dead woman, but the 6th guy of that group, he caught three of us myself, sudha and my friend Raja. He dragged us into the abandoned godown. A guy with cat eyes, there was story that he didn’t have eyes when he was born, so they killed their own cat and did operation and fixed the cat eyes for him, so we are always afraid of this guy.

He forced raja to hug sudha. They both refused it, he threatened with his eyes, but still they didn’t do it. Then he took a magazine in hand, showed us a picture!!!! Sudha immediately close her eyes, but our eyes were wide open, it was the first time we both are seeing a naked woman still, till that minute the biggest crime in our life is that, raja and I had look at the still of an adult
movie poster in walls, but now we have committed a sin which can never be redeemed, he closed the magazine, now we three had a quick look at each others eyes, it’s a signal that we should start running and stop at nothing, there are only two exits, one open window and exit door, I held her hands and in a flash of second we ran away thru the exit door and raja jumped away thru the open window. Those guys would’ve easily caught us, but they didn’t attempt to
catch us, and we never peeked into their secret activity, anytime later, we said to others that we really met a ghost woman inside and she is not bad....

Case -4-

In one of the houses in the C block, there will always be breaking or screaming noise, its none other than Raja's home, their parents will be throwing kitchen vessels upon one another, they will break glass items and beat one another. They had 3 kids including him, at once their parents start fighting, those 3 will be crying in front of my house. My father and many other fathers’ n mother's will go to convince them. But fight gets even more worse when other intervene into their fight. The three kids' faces looks depressed in deep shame, seeing their parents fighting like mad in front of many other parents. Trio always had a feeling that they have the worst parents, but this fight happens in every next door, but most of them try to control their feeling inside the four walls, but only few go over limit and finally get insult themselves, although this act of their
parents affected them mentally, but they managed to see life in their own eyes.....

Case -5-

1995, in my 5th standard, I’ve had this unusual class teacher. She is just a devil, and even in that age we kept her a nick name 'ratchasi'(ராக்ட்சசி - Devil). One day some spy in my class, somehow passed on this info to her, it turned out to be the worst day in school life. Total strength of the class was 53; everyone was present that day, except 6 students, other students including me were forced to stand outside the class in the last period before lunch break. 6 escapists included 2 class toppers and other 4 were Teacher's kids. These Teacher's kids had the biggest advantage of being spy and they escape all that punishments, although if they score low marks.

Post-lunch - devil acquired all the 4 periods and she wanted us to tell the truth before evening bell, "Who kept that name?"... Firstly she picked the 10 notorious student of the class, according to her notorious students are those who have poor academic standards and those who wear faded trousers. But the actual notorious kings were sitting inside the class and laughing at us. A police lathi was used by our HM to beat the 10th standard guys, she somehow grabbed this lathi and on some of us started crying when we saw the lathi, its too much for 5th standard guys, the innocent 10 guys got beatings on our behalf, Devil, "Tell me which one of you kept this name? I know its definitely one among you guys", she kept on beating them. Nobody could really say who kept that name, cuz, it was actually chosen by her, few days before in a frustration she said, "I'll scold and beat you people like a ratchasi, but understand that it’s only for your good, No teacher in our school will teach maths so clearly and patiently". Many of us started crying in fear, it irritated her, not only her, but the entire floor.

By then she focused on the crying girls, once again the worst punishment, stripping of clothes, if they don’t strip, they get a blow from lathi. Two hours passed, but her torture never ended, most of us were holding our shirts in our hands, worst insult we've ever had. After 2 periods there is a short break for 5 minutes, she was eagerly waiting for this chance, so that other students will watch us. The bell rang and all of us pleaded, "Miss, Miss.... Sorry Miss....", devil never cared to hear our sorry's, she just walked off to her staff room. One good teacher just had a look at us and said, "she went na, put on your clothes".

Immediately we put on our clothes and stopped crying for a while, the 6 villains inside the class was laughing at us. Hell lot of anger in our faces, we would've crushed and thrashed those guys, but practically we can’t do anything. If at all it wasn't 1995 and if this happened in 2009...!! 4 years jail for the teacher... But it was 95' and this happened somewhere in small sub-urban school to some unknown 40+ students who called a DEVIL - a - devil.

Case -6-

In my quarters we stayed in the 2nd floor, in the 1st floor - a nuclear family - husband, wife and a boy. 94' - Myself studying 4th standard and this boy was in U.K.G. His parents' job timing was 10-6. Boy arrives home at 1p.m. His mom feeds him food in the afternoon, additionally she gives him dilosyn syrup, that makes him sleep, she locks the house and gets back to work. He won’t sleep long, he wakes up at 4p.m, but he stays silently in that locked house, in those days we had no Jetix or Cartoon network, only doordarshan, interesting kids program in DD was the one and only moglie, that too only on sundays. But this boys understands that his mother is not here, she is in work and she will return in time. But the problem started when the mischievous boys in our quarters simply rang the bell and banged the door. He innocently shouts from the inside,
"Anna bayama irukku na". I can’t beat those guys, I wasn’t strong enough, but my sister shouts at them and they will run off. My sister and I started speaking with him although the door is locked. All this loneliness never affected him, he studied well and now he is taking pilot training in Hyderabad, still not staying with the family... Now his parents miss him.....

Case - 7 -

Finally about my school, it’s just a typical school who tried hard to establish themselves in late 90's. Main principle of the school - 'if you study well you are the king and if you don’t study well you are a piece of shit'. A brilliant student is always right, a dull student, although at times if he is RIGHT, they will be considered only as wrong. Words kill. Teacher don’t stop with insulting the
students alone, but they also criticize our parents, since they get to know everyone's parents through the frequently conducted parents-teachers meeting. I didn’t have the guts to speak about my school even in the farewell day party, but I ended up saying, "I learned lot of good behaviors from this school and I will always remember this school throughout my life, this is were I learned about life".

End-of-abuse

In the past years, consistently kids were abused and ill-treated, but everything passes away when we play 'Hide and Seek', 'Police-thief'. Culture, life style and even the minds of kids changed in this capitalistic urban economy, hell lot of children are present around my house. I never see anyone playing or even speaking with each other. Anger is deep in their blood. Life style changed and also a crime style takes a new route...